We very much doubt that after seeing the baby in the video, you said:
"I would love to feel as sad and helpless and alone as this baby! It's always great to be trapped in your room, knowing
you can't go to the one you love and that the one you love is not going to come to you, either."
© McCarthy 2011
Did you know???
Research findings from neuroscience, psychology, health sciences and other fields have shown that:
♦ Responding promptly and lovingly to your babies' cries and signals helps them develop the security, inner strength,
confidence and empathy they will need to become strong children and successful, ethical and caring adults.
♦ Meeting your babies' needs for security facilitates good emotional health AND good physical health and helps
protect them from later depression, anxiety, addictions and other serious emotional and physical problems.
♦ The behavioristic “independence-training” techniques recommended for decades by so-called experts are not only
counterproductive but harmful. Leaving babies alone to “cry it out” damages their brains and anti-anxiety
systems as well as their sense of security and their ability to trust and form healthy relationships.
Behaviorists focus on shaping and controlling behavior. Relationship-oriented parents and professionals focus on showing
respect for babies and their needs and feelings, on meeting their needs and on building strong, trusting and loving
relationships.
ALL BABIES
ALWAYS COMFORTED ™
We believe we can create a more caring world by treating our babies and children with respect and empathy.
Just follow these principles of CARE Parenting:
♥ Make thoughtful, conscious and informed decisions. Don't react in the moment. Learn what children need to
become caring and confident human beings.
♥ Be attuned to what your children are feeling and trying to communicate to you.
♥ Listen with empathy. Try to understand what they're experiencing.
♥ Respond in a positive and caring way that shows respect for their feelings, thoughts and boundaries.
This website is here to meet your needs. You have many options from which to choose:
* Learn how to raise a confident child who will become a caring and successful adult by visiting this website often
* Join a community of like-minded parents through our Facebook page
* Advocate for babies! Wear our T-shirts and use the products with the message "All Babies, Always Comforted"
* Teach empathy and the harmfulness of ignoring a baby's cries: buy and share the song "All I Want is You"
* Spread the word! Tell your friends, family and co-workers about this website and its video/song, Facebook page, T-shirts, etc.
and/or
* Shop and help end callous "independence-training" methods at the same time! Buy and use products with the PCW logo and
website URL! Cushions, laptop backpacks, hats, baby blankets, mugs, keychains, T-shirts, totes, sweatshirts!
* Enjoy the counsel of your own Parenting Coach/Consultant
* Join the PCW team! Be an Advocate or possibly an Advisor. Help others learn about CARE Parenting.
You can also help by just "liking" this website. (See the Facebook icon below the menu on this page.)
.
Parenting for a Caring World
"Secure Babies, Strong Children, Successful Adults"
™
™
Professionals Speak | Why the Song? | Nuggets of Wisdom | Recommended Resources | Consultations/Mentoring
We encourage you to use both your mind and your heart
to re-evaluate what mainstream American culture
has been teaching us about infant-rearing.
Make informed parenting decisions that feel right.
If we adults feel sad or lonely, we sometimes "soothe" ourselves by listening to music or watching TV, but most of us would prefer to pick up the phone and call someone, or get in our cars and go to where our loved ones are, or at least to a place where we can be with other human beings. We don't "suffer in silence;" we take action. But what choice do babies have? They're entirely dependent on us. They cry to let us know they need us, but “experts” have told us we need to ignore them, that they need to learn to "self-soothe." Research has shown that children can't BEGIN to learn to soothe themselves till they're about 2 and a half to 3 years old. And anyway, if we adults turn to others for comfort, even though we have the maturity and ability to have developed many coping mechanisms, why do we deny comfort to our very dependent and immature babies?
Your Resource for CARE Parenting
Conscious, Attuned, Responsive and Empathetic
™
How is CARE Parenting different from regular parenting?
Mainstream or “regular” parenting in the U.S. has mainly concerned itself with shaping, controlling and modifying children’s behavior and has given little importance to children’s emotional and relationship needs.
Parents who practice CARE Parenting believe in meeting their children’s needs for emotional security and for empathetic, responsive caregivers. They believe in “tuning in” to their children to try to understand what they’re feeling and trying to communicate. They listen with empathy and make thoughtful, conscious decisions, rather than just “doing what’s always been done” or reacting based on whatever mood they happen to be in. They respond to in a positive and caring way that shows respect for their children and their feelings, thoughts, preferences and boundaries.
Let’s revisit these beliefs. Let’s try to really understand what the baby in this one-minute video is feeling.
To learn more, go to About Us
Note: For optimum viewing and access to all content, use a desktop or tablet computer and Firefox, Chrome or Explorer.
Is it really so bad to let a baby to cry for a little while?
We’ve allowed ourselves to believe that when a baby cries, it means they “just want” something, though when an adult
cries, we take action, based on the understanding that they’re suffering and need our comfort. We would never turn
away from a friend who’s crying, but we easily turn our backs on our little babies.
Our Mission:
* To create a more caring world by transforming the way babies and young children are treated
* To prevent serious societal problems such as addictions, bullying,
depression, corporate sociopathy, health problems & child abuse
by
- Ending callous infant “independence-training” techniques and
other child-rearing methods that are unkind and disrespectful of
children’s needs, feelings and developmental abilities
and
- Promoting CARE Parenting (Conscious, Attuned, Responsive and
Empathetic) and specific child-rearing practices that are kind and
respectful of children’s needs, feelings and developmental abilities
How does this play out in an actual situation?
Let’s look at a question asked by many parents: “Should I let my baby cry it out?” For decades, parents have been told by
“experts” to ignore what their hearts tell them and leave their babies alone to cry themselves to sleep. The only goal is to
modify the babies’ behavior, to teach them that no one will come or comfort them when they cry, so that parents don’t haven’t
“waste” their time helping their babies transition to sleep. This “sleep-training” is supposed to teach babies to “self-soothe” and
become “independent.”
With CARE Parenting, parents pay attention to their babies’ cries, understanding that they are distressed and feeling empathy
for them. Then the parents use the research-based knowledge they consciously chose to learn regarding what babies need to
feel secure and loved and to grow up to be caring and confident adults. Finally, they consciously make the decision to show
empathy for their babies’ feelings and respect for their needs, by picking them up, comforting them and helping them
transition to sleep. (Don’t most adults prefer to go to sleep holding the warm body of a loved one?)
